It was early Monday morning when TRI intern Jessie Iredale went to retrieve the latest issue of People from the copy room. Lifting up the cover of the copy machine and expecting to see Nick Lachey’s smiling face staring up at her, she suddenly became very still. Fighting the panic rising in her throat,...
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During an uneventful police raid of 89 year-old TRI Board Member Ron Tedwater Jr.’s private holdings, a historical document surfaced. It turns out that Tedwater Senior’s private collection of art and historical works had been passed along to his son, rather than sold on...
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Mother nature’s abominations and white collar business: never before have two worlds been so seamlessly enmeshed, thanks to Two Rogers’ newest non-profit, Freaks for Business. Corporations are finding this new class of worker so productive that non-manual freak unemployment rates have plummeted, dropping 50%...
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Determining whether or not the picture of exposed genitalia on your phone belongs to a celebrity or a loved one has never been easier, thanks to Genitalyzer, a new...
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WASHINGTON–State Department officials, in tandem with Two Rogers, Inc., formally apologized to the citizens of Guatemala for releasing a Two Rogers test subject, Gary, into their general population in...
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LOS ANGELES–TRI Rotary X7-442572, a phone famous for appearing in over 50 feature films and winning an Academy Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role in 1988 for...
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LOS ANGELES–After being released for only two months by Two Rogers, Mel Gibson’s new fragrance, Provocative, has spurred a 46% increase of restraining orders pending across the nation. “It’s...
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TRI MIGHTY MISSOURI SLURRY DEPOSITORY-Every month Two Rogers recognizes an employee who goes above and beyond the call of duty; who embodies the spirit of value and dependability, and...
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WASHINGTON–Federal prosecutors have opened an investigation on all fauna residing in and around the Gulf Coast for illegal enrichment and failure to report oil revenues generated from the Deepwater...
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