Calm Down Everybody, Picasso is Fine

April 8, 2010
This article originally appeared in TRI Weekly on April 8, 1973

MOUGINS, FRANCE–Listen, I understand that you’re all a little nervous. Who can blame you! Seeing a nonagenarian treasure like Mr. Picasso negotiate the terms of his licensing agreement alone on a yacht anchored off the coast of Monaco would trigger a primal, paternalistic impulse in just about anyone. But you’ve got to remember: Mr. Picasso is not in his impish, carefree Blue Period anymore. He has blossomed into a man that is capable of taking care of himself.

Trust me, Two Rogers is entering these negotiations with his comfort as a top priority. After being cooped up in his estate all these years, it will do him wonders to stretch his tanned, artistic, Spanish legs on the ivory deck of our luxury yacht. There’s a case of blanc de blanc on ice, we raided the Cordon Bleu of their finest pupils, and we paid George Harrison to provide a little background sitar. George Harrison!

Now, you must understand that Mr. Picasso is of a different generation. After cocktails, dinner, friendly chit-chat and an informal verbal agreement, men in his day usually liked to cap the afternoon with a show of fraternal gamesmanship in international waters. Men of this caliber are only capable of sealing their bonds well outside the jurisdiction of any sovereign county. Do grizzly bears shed blood on Yukon soil within the watchful eye of a park ranger?

What’s that? Heavens, no. I didn’t mean to imply that any harm would come to Mr. Picasso, forgive me. I will confirm that I believe that these negotiations will profoundly change Mr. Picasso. He may return somewhat deconstructed, and you might have to view him differently through the contours of his shapes, limbs, etc. But Mr. Picasso is well acquainted with all of that.

Care for another Condor omelet?

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  1. Gayla Yankovitz on September 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    I am a regular contributor to and have to say that this information is certainly disturbing. What is this site?

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