JFK Warned of “Taco Shortage” Minutes Before Death

April 29, 2010
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WASHINGTON–A top Pentagon official indicated that if TRI maybe wanted to look in Vault 4C at this building in Denver, they might find records that perhaps someone could use in concluding that JFK may or may not have been alerted of a domestic taco shortage, among other things, moments before his death at the hands of the CIA. “The fact that nobody had seen this coming makes this some really sensitive shit,” the treasonous official said, in breathless whispers before opening a small briefcase. “If Krushchev knew that Jack had been cooking this country’s tortilla, salsa, and ground chuck books for years, if he only knew that we were on the brink of fucking anarchy: boom. Nuclear winter.” After urging TRI to “leave his family out of this,” the official seemed optimistic about the records’ resale value and TRI’s bottom line. “I don’t care what you do with them, I wasn’t even here.”

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