RogerBot Has Escaped; Dominates Women’s Basketball

April 6, 2010
By

Courtesy of our spies at North Houston News

WACO, TX–It appears that the whereabouts of TRI’s $30 million investment are now known. RogerBot has enrolled at Baylor University and is playing center for the women’s basketball team. While our scientists initially believed that its Compassion Processor was small enough to resist the temptation to discover life outside the post-apocalyptic hellscape it was programmed to navigate, this now seems to be untrue. RogerBot’s six-foot-eight height and diamond-cut skeleton have made the cyborg as adept at driving to the bucket and finding the open lane as it is at slashing through the bloodstained composite armor of the Futuretanks and navigating the acid lakes of the Radioactive Pangea.

“I could see the appropriate murder-glint in RogerBot’s eye when it almost put up a triple-double last week” notes one unnamed TRI scientist close to the project. “But frankly, if it’s not returning from the nuclear hinterland carrying viable human fetuses in its hull, it’s just a huge waste of our money.”

TRI assures its investors that further forays into robotics will be undertaken with more caution and less SAT II prep.

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