‘Tragedy’ Now ‘Tastee’, Thanks to TRI Employee of the Month

September 2, 2010

TRI MIGHTY MISSOURI SLURRY DEPOSITORY-Every month Two Rogers recognizes an employee who goes above and beyond the call of duty; who embodies the spirit of value and dependability, and who is male. This month of August 2010, that employee is Rico Talentino, Director of TRI’s Mighty Missouri Slurry Depository. Rico turned what could have been a commercial and environmental disaster into sixteen new Tibetan Mastiffs and no messy legal fees for the Founders!

To excel with such vigor, Rico first had to identify the issue at hand: “I’ll grant that we had known for some time that our Slurry depot was in a gray area regarding runoff regulations, but the EPA’s sanctions seemed a tad harsh.” Harsh indeed, Rico. “And it was right after the Feds told me that we’d be shut down, I realized the solution had been right in front of us the whole time” he said, compulsively fingering the shiny new novelty lanyard that is his bloodright as TRI’s Employee of the Month.

Last year, internal testing of the Missouri river sample turned up the cleanest fish in the history of the river since TRI began keeping records in 1997; fish so clean they were almost completely scaleless and slightly puffy – much like newborns. Then, six months ago, complaints of “face tingling” and a lack of “drinkability” surfaced. Well, on this last count TRI was listening. Rico was listening. No one is going thirsty on our watch.

“To be honest,” Rico began, slightly bending TRI’s corporate edict on honesty, “we were ashamed that kids were no longer drinking freshwater from the Missouri. But that’s nothing that 20,000 tons of OrangeFaceā„¢ can’t fix!”

That’s right, our most popular energy drink powder is now coursing directly through the nation’s watery veins. What’s got more drinkability than Myrtle Beach’s #2 mood enhancer? Now the local children and fish, both of which were starting to look a little peaked, will have the playing and buying enthusiasm they once had. Congratulations Rico, now we’ll tell you where your family is.

Mr. Talentino waits for his family at the assigned drop-off point

Photo courtesy of Ssr

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  1. Jeff Libek on September 10, 2010 at 1:02 am

    As someone who lives in Missouri and who lets all of my children drink from the river, I have to say this is great news!

  2. Deloise Sayne on November 5, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    It makes my heart sing to see employees get the recognition they deserve.

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