Mel Gibson’s New Fragrance Spurs 46% Increase in Restraining Orders
Just in time for the holiday season
LOS ANGELES–After being released for only two months by Two Rogers, Mel Gibson’s new fragrance, Provocative, has spurred a 46% increase of restraining orders pending across the nation. “It’s the darndest thing,” said Los Angeles County District Court judge Albert Hughley, “these gals will give themselves a spritz or two and then the fellas just can’t get enough. They will literally kick down doors to get their fix.”
Provocative Radio Spot (Listen to our pitch for Provocative)
Two Rogers’ scientists were aware of the potency of Provocative after the baby seals used in the testing phase experienced periods of unsustainable contentment, followed by crushing fear and deep mistrust of their companion. However, Daniel Uelmen, a senior researcher on Provocative, feels that these concerns are not unusual for such an intricately designed perfume.
“There was one or two instances in which the female seal showed up late to a dinner date, or forgot to express her gratitude to the male seal for his traditional, bread-winning duties that he does day in and day out for her, and the male seal may have overreacted a bit,” Mr. Uelmen said. “But love means never having to say you’re sorry. Not for that time she tripped down the stairs or for her 7:00 curfew that is for her own good.”
Despite the surge in domestic court filings, Two Rogers has sold over 300,000 units of Provocative and plans to release another consumer product in collaboration with Mr. Gibson this spring. Jewdar, an electrical device the size of a bluetooth earpiece, is an informational tool that Mr. Gibson believes will “revolutionize where I choose to conduct business.”
My friend bought one of these, and was chased out of the Y. I certainly like to be the center of attention, I’m just a little unsure about the type of attention this perfume seems to attract.
Mel, I support you all the way! I can’t wait until your ‘Mr. Gibson’s Restrictive Hosiery’ line comes out! Oh, and I’m from Turkey and just saw The Passion of the Christ, amazing!
Mel, don’t let Charlie steal your thunder! This is a war Mel, one you must win. You made Braveheart for Christsakes, he made Hot Shots.
Bon chance Two Rogers!