About

Two Rogers, Inc. (NYSE: TRI) is the world’s leading purveyor of pecuniary flotsam and the greatest champion of diagonal integration. We make everything. We sell everything. From toothbrushes to teeth. Our interminable team members and shell companies provide unprecedented, near offensive amounts of global leverage to suit any need. TwoRogers.com is the company’s primary method of disseminating word of our products and deeds.


Sidney Randolph

Mr. Randolph has acted as Two Rogers’ managing partner since his father’s passing at sea. Born in Cherokee Territory and educated in Cairo, Randolph first garnered international attention by challenging Mark Twain to a duel at the 1889 World’s Fair. He currently resides in Kansas City with his wife, Donna.








Goren McGeeney

Mr. McGeeney acts as deputy director of Two Rogers, Inc., a position he has held since the company’s inception. He famously urged Alexander Fleming to discover penicillin, and his acclaimed aria, “La Vespa Prurito,” literally taught the world to sing. Although Mr. McGeeney is barred by UN Resolution 436 from residing in the United States, he still does.








Stanley Sockerton

Mr. Sockerton is the de facto owner and majority shareholder of Two Rogers, Inc. All service of process or other pressing inquiries should be directed to him.

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  1. Jon Eckel on September 5, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    There I was, early evening, reading 2 Rogers and sipping some nice hot expresso and enjoying a Marlboro, when I came upon the ad for e-cocaine. My nasal passages were quickly treated to a torrent of hot java which then spewed onto my keyboard and screen. Also, I believe I wet myself. Good stuff boys, keep it up.

  2. Goren McGeeney on September 7, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Thanks, Jon. We’ll let you know when your ivory plated, monogrammed E-Blow Dispensary is ready for shipping.

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    What is worse than a pale, glistening bulbous stomach, with a hint of neonatal photophobia? That’s right, nothing! Stop this disturbing trend today, and come down to Lamaze Tan and get a healthy winter glow and tips on how to get a prettier baby. 50% off during third trimester!

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