Wake Up! Shake Up!

ORIGIN: With home schooling at a record low, and goodwill towards clowns at record-highs, 1986 was the year in which parents needed devices to quickly dress their children for school without hampering their own efforts to get to work, the gym, the OTB, etc. Thus, Wake Up! Shake Up! was born.

A wholesome, sunny beginning to your child's day

PRODUCT DESCRIPTION: Clown-themed children’s alarm clock, featuring

  • AM/FM Radio
  • Night/Day Alarm
  • Dancing robotic clown apparatus
  • SwivelNotch® robotic pelvis technology
  • DressMePweeze® juvenile clothing applicator
  • Voice command responds to 6 phrases
  • Fog-resistant display

REASONS FOR CEASING PRODUCTION: Focus groups delighted in Wake Up’s ability to cheerily greet sleepy children in ways that ordinary parental nagging could not. However, both parents and children expressed trepidation at Wake Up’s DressMePweeze® feature. Subjects reported that the clown’s “hands were pointy” and that “his breath hurt.” Measures taken to further pad Wake Up’s aluminum alloy hands proved unfeasible, as its bionic fingers necessitated a nimble command of the subjects’ unusually small buttons and zippers.

Many subjects objected to the voice-activation phrases, and noted that they did not need Wake Up to dress them “Harder” or “for Gym Class.” Not all subjects appreciated Wake Up’s name-recognition capabilities, as they couldn’t think “cause the clown kept saying my name and watching me while I was getting dressed.” Given the recent legal developments in the Dominican Republic and other valence markets, Two Rogers does not see Wake Up becoming profitable before 2018.

Like this? Spread the word:

Digg Facebook StumbleUpon

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *